So, here it is, another Christmas and I'm single. After two years of the things that I've learned and been through, the most important thing I have learned, is being single does not have to mean being "alone." I've seen friends get married, get engaged, and develop new wonderful relationships. Sometimes I find myself envying that desperately. I even see friends that have been with their significant others for years, and realize how bad I wish I could have that. But something that I have to stop and remind myself of is, God made us all unique. We all weren't meant to find our other half in high school. There are even times that I wonder if I'm not being punished for the mistakes I have made when it comes to relationships, having kids out of marriage, ect. I also have to stop and remember that, the God I know does teach painful lessons, but he also doesn't allow for extended suffering. It may seem like suffering, but it could quite possibly be a lesson that I, along with many other hard headed people I know are having a hard time grasping.
I had to stop and think last night, maybe I'm meant to fulfill a greater purpose before I become a girlfriend, then a wife. I even realized that I am certainly not in the emotional or financial position to take on another person, quite possibly multiple people depending on if that person has children. I even had to stop and think, well maybe I have met that person, it's just not the right time yet. Being my age and still being single can be very confusing and trying. It will make you wonder if there's something wrong with you, or if what you're doing is wrong. Well, I can tell you from personal experience, that yes, your method in how you try to find that other person plays a role in whether you will find them or not. However, there is NOTHING wrong with you. This has been a learning process for me. Probably for a few others who are in the same position as I am. However, I have to always try to look at it as, this isn't the end. My step dad was over 30 before he and my mom got married. The world didn't end yesterday, and it has given me a new look on the fact that I am still young and still have so much more to do. I think I'll be ok waiting on my future husband to come along.
