Ever heard anyone say "God sends you your person when you least expect it"? Well, its true. I will protect this person's identity by referring to him as JL. YES! Another guy in my life. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the males. But I think he just may be a little different. He came off at first as kinda rough, if you know what I mean. But as time has progressed, I have seen a very sweet, vulnerable, man of God. Yep, he's a decent Christian with good morals. Someone who I honestly think I've needed for a very long time. No, we aren't together. I'm still not ready for that just yet. But, to know that there is someone who tries his best to live his life through Christ, he is definitely worth keeping around. I'm still trying my best to keep moving forward. Some days are easier than others, but for the most part I'm moving along nicely. It's never a good idea to keep wondering about what ifs and all that. I've learned the hard way that you only either A. give yourself false hope, or B. you demonize someone unfairly. I will rarely speak ill of someone unwarranted. You have to piss me off pretty bad for me to talk smack about you. And even then, unless it's me venting, to someone I trust and in private, I still won't throw you too far under the bus.
My point is this. I was blinded for a few weeks by something. I'm not sure what it was, again it's one of those things I very well may not know. I'm honestly beginning the think that my aunt is right, that God was guarding my heart to prevent me from going through some serious pain that he knew would be hard for me to handle. Sometimes we look past what is obviously staring us in the face to try to watch something else fade off into the distance. It's like seeing the forest for the trees. Again, I will ask the question, do I think I and the new J have something? Well, I don't know. I have yet to meet him. So, let's get that past us first then, I'll make my predictions. Heck, this time, I very well may try not to even make a prediction and just go with it. God has thrown me some serious curve balls, and even though I've been hit smack in the face with a few, I've healed and learned to be cautious, and keep my eyes wide open. Dealing with hard issues in our lives are like pulling band-aids off. It's much easier to snatch that sucker off and just be done. Yes, I know I talked about sticking my band-aid back on and healing for a while. But, I took a peek, and it's healing nicely. When I just don't turn around to try to look in the distance for something that keeps fading, knowing that it is not turning around to come back, I do much better. I'll always remember fun and happy times, and sometimes it makes me smile. Other times it makes me sad. But, knowing for that short time I was happy is comforting. Don't get me wrong, I am happy now. And even though I've suffered a few bumps, bruises and have a few scars, I wouldn't trade any of the experiences I've endured. They've gotten me to where I am today. I love my life.
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