Friday, May 4, 2012

The Little Things

Have you ever gotten so caught up in your life that you tended to "miss the forest for the trees?"  For a long time that's what I had done.  And I think I missed out on a lot of blessings. And I finally woke up for a little while but here in the last few weeks I think I slipped back into that.  My relationship with JL is still in its early stages even though we have been friends for almost 6 months now, it's moving slowly but it is progressing. Yesterday he unexpectedly came to see me on my lunch break and even though it was only for a few minutes I enjoyed it, very much. 

A week ago, I made an attempt at trying to see where he wanted this to go but I choked and just couldn't get it out. So yesterday he brought it up again. I really couldn't say anything. When I walked into work thinking about why he possibly after a week brought it back up.  The only thing though that I kept thinking was "Sam, why are you trying to label this so badly? Why does this relationship have to have a name?"  Yes, it's very obvious that I'd love to and be honored to be his girlfriend.  And I absolutely adore him.  The innocence of the relationship and just being able to smile so big when he's around should be enough shouldn't it? Well, I didn't think so. Until yesterday.  Yes, I'm tired of being alone. I want to snuggle and cuddle and be close with someone, him in particular. But what I didn't seem to grasp was, if that's where it will eventually be, God's gonna put it right where it's intended to be. It's just not meant to be that way right now. Or heck, maybe not ever. I don't know. 

Something finally clicked yesterday that I hadn't taken the time to really look at, and that was to just be happy it is what it is.  It is pretty selfish to ask for more right now. I just know that right now I am going to appreciate the little sweet compliments and the surprise lunch visits. Because honestly right now, I couldn't ask for more...