As 2014 comes to a close, I reflect back on this year. While I don't remember the majority of the small events, those small events end up becoming some of the most defining. Rather than drudging up the pain of the year, I'd rather talk about the top lessons I have learned from that pain and and struggles. Funny enough I found myself on both sides of these lessons. Yep this is one of those dreaded list posts.
1. People deal with pain and loss differently. You can't force them to see things your way. Sometimes the best support you can offer is an open heart and ears. They will come to terms with their issues and eventually become grateful for you just being there.
2. People do things that just don't make sense. Even to them, eventually they make little sense in hindsight, but in the moment make perfect sense.
3. Sometimes the past catches up to you and you just have to hunker down and tough it out, even when those consequences suck worse than you could imagine.
4. Every single person has baggage and a past. It ultimately is your choice whether you are strong enough and willing to help that person unpack that load, or help them carry it until they are ready. It is also up to you to weigh and deal with the consequences of taking on that load.
5. Some people have a hard time expressing their gratitude, don't assume they're ungrateful.
6. Don't assume people learn lessons after the first time. Some it takes several times, or even hitting rock bottom before they learn.
7. Don't assume that because you think you've been through a similar situation, it actually is. To them, it's different and again, they aren't going to deal with it the same way you did.
8. There are people who are damaged to the point they are cautious of every person they come in contact with, even with the most trustworthy people. If you're up for the challenge, patience is the only way to cope with this.
9. Just because you feel unimportant in someone's life, this doesn't mean you always are. Sometimes, you may be the most important person to them, and they let others know about it, even when you feel invisible.
10. There are people who still love unconditionally.
11. Even with the best of intentions, your friends aren't always right. They can only offer advice with what they understand. Be appreciative of that advice and love, but they don't walk your path.
The biggest lesson I have learned this year is this:
12. There are people worth fighting for. Even when they hurt you deeply and you go through huge amounts of crap for them, they are still worth it. At times it may not seem like it, but when you finally see the fruits of that fight, you realize it was truly all worth it in the end. Giving up isn't always the best option, sometimes it's not an option at all.
This is how my year has played out. Full of fight, full of lessons but also has ended with love that I could have never imagined. While this fight will continue on into the new year, I am realizing the fight for those you love never ends. In the process of someone else learning how much you love them, you end up learning YOUR love for them is much deeper than you thought and love always wins.
